Valentine’s Day and the Enduring Legacy of Love

By Odetta Boudreau, Events Manager

This Valentine’s Day, I’ve been thinking about family, grief, and the enduring legacy of love. 

Last fall, as I watched my beautiful trans teen walk out the front door for the first day of the new school year, my emotions were all over the place.  

Watching my neurodivergent, gender-bending child enter the world without me by his side has always been anxiety-producing. As a mixed-race person of color, he is statistically more at risk in ways no parent wants to consider.  And yet, that day, as fear tugged at my heart, I saw a confident, self-possessed, and comfortable young person ready to take on the world whether I was also ready or not. And, isn’t that exactly what I wished for him?   

My love and respect for this child are bigger than any small voice that might hold either of us back, and I consistently admire how well he knows himself in the face of adversity. 

Suddenly, an unexpected wave of grief overcame me;  “Jon’s not here to see this”   

My late husband Jon had been an amazing step-dad and the confidence radiating out of this kiddo that day was proof.  

5 years earlier, when it was clear that we had been mistaken about the child we thought we had and he told us about his gender, Jon sprung into action. As a store manager for an upscale national men’s store, Jon treated our kiddo to his first shopping experience to embrace his whole self.  The three of us left the store that day with a traditional oxford button down, a sweater vest, a bow tie, and an empowered, confident young man. Like Joseph in the coat of many colors, this boy knew he was celebrated and seen. 

What is love if not supporting our children? What is love if not making sure families, places of worship, schools, and communities at large invest in the well-being of trans/nonbinary youth? What is love if not inviting all young people to occupy space as their whole, full selves?  

That day last fall, when I watched my son step out the front door and into the world, I was reminded of  love’s enduring legacy.  My love, Jon’s love, our community’s love – it’s etched into his being now.  

This is the dream that fuels us at Trans Families – for all children to live authentically, to be met with love, and to grow into confident adults. Love is a gift, and the way it nurtures us is with us for the rest of our lives. This Valentine’s Day, and every day, I am so thankful for the love in my family, and the fullness of its power.