Hello tween parents! My kiddo is 11 (12 in Feb 2020) and started middle school this year. There are some amazing positives, and some challenges that have come with starting middle school, so I figured I’d post some of them. For gender, my kiddo is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. Regarding sexuality, they are pansexual.

Challenges:

PE has definitely been weird, but we’ve navigated it so far. Gender separation into 2 categories when your kid isn’t either of the 2 categories is always a challenge, but it’s gone okay.

My kid’s biggest bully is still there, but thanks to some finagling by the counselor, he is not in any of my kid’s classes. They seem him in the halls, but not everyday, which has helped a lot.

My kid still goes all day without using the bathroom. I just don’t know what to do about this issue, they do have a big bladder, but I know they are not going for lots of reasons. I worry about their health, but so far, there have been no issues, no infections, etc.

Positives:

More kids means more opportunities to meet like-minded friends! At their elementary school, my kid was the ONLY out queer and trans kid in the ENTIRE SCHOOL. Here, they have met lots of queer kids and a few other trans kids and that has been amazing! They even have a girlfriend who completely accepts them and their gender, not only accepts, but celebrates their gender, and it makes me so happy!

The counselor at my kid’s school has been AMAZING and supportive. We met with her before the year started and she helped with some of the challenges I mentioned above, but she has been a huge advocate for helping teachers and staff remember my kiddo’s pronouns and gender. Her office is a wonderful place with rainbow flags and lovely affirming posters, that my kid feels safe to be in.

What kind of challenges and positives have you experienced? How are your tweens doing? I love hearing stories about how other kids are doing because then I feel less alone.