Informing school of name/gender change- how to handle

[Anonymous]

Hi all, (I’m cross posting this here and in “Transitions”)

My 7 1/2 y.o. child, born male, has been socially transitioning for awhile now (growing hair long, sometimes wearing feminine clothes). At the start of the summer, he asked to be called a new name, tried it for 2 weeks and is now on name #2. This name seems to be a keeper, as he has been using it for a month now and seems very happy with it and is telling more people and correcting everyone when they accidentally use his birth name. He will be starting 2nd grade in the fall. We chose remote school during the whole pandemic, so he has not seen any classmates in person since March 2020. I am hopeful that the transition at school will be smooth, since it is almost like “starting over” with having a 1 1/2 year break from in-person school. I am confident that the school will handle everything great since we live in the Seattle area and it is a K-8 “choice” school with a lot of progressive families and a LGBTQ alliance club.

We just started seeing a therapist, and she suggested that we tell our school now about the name change so that they have time to prepare. I have several questions: How do I go about letting the school know and who do I contact? The principal, school nurse? Should I send an email? Also, what should I say about gender? Just one day ago, he asked us to use she/her pronouns, but up until that point he seemed pretty sure that non-binary or both male/female seemed to fit best. Do I tell the school she/her pronouns, even though this was announced so recently?

Thanks for any advice and support from those of you who have gone before me

UPDATE: (8/11/21) We decided to email the principal, who responded very kindly and supportive. She said she and the school are ready to come alongside us and support us however we need. I am now seeking new advice. The principal suggested telling both grade 2-3 teachers (as our child will have both), the art teacher, librarian, PE teacher, nurse, school counselor, dean of students and para educators that have worked with our child. To my husband and I, this seems like an unnecessary number of people that “need to know”. Any advice on how to handle this? Also, she suggested telling the class on the first day (using a story like “RED” or similar) to nip any “chatter” in the bud.

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