New member trying to find my way in this new reality
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I am the mother of a trans male. I don’t feel grief the way that I have read in the other forms that some people have. I haven’t cried in the shower about this or felt like I’ve lost my child but I am struggling with the fact that I don’t know how to raise a boy. I had a daughter for 13 years and now I have a son. It’s a huge adjustment but my child’s personality and likes are all the same. I just still see her as my little girl. To try and help me understand this my child has told me to think about it like multiple personalities for now. Mark is the good child and my daughter is the mopey teenage girl who sits in her room and just stays on her phone. I don’t like that he has to do this but it does sort of help.
My husband doesn’t seem to be having any issues with this, which is great because he’s much more conservative than I am. I am hoping that once we start dressing him like a boy and get the haircut and having the more physical appearance of a male that it will be easier for me to see my son and not my daughter.
While I’m not experiencing grief I am experiencing confusion. I don’t believe we did anything wrong as parents and I don’t believe that he is wrong for feeling the way he does I’m just not sure how we got to this point without knowing.
This is me putting myself out there and asking for help and comfort in this time of learning and adjusting to our new lifestyle.
My name is Donna, I am 41 years old I’ve been married for 21 years and Mark is our only child. He loves the computer, anime, Making YouTube videos, hiking in the forest with his dad, and connecting with his new social group on the Internet. He’s very easily offended by slurs, even if they aren’t directed at him he stands up for his friends and can be a bit of a keyboard warrior. He’s very empathic and tries to fix everyone else’s pain. He’s very intelligent and is in all advanced classes at the moment, however next year we will be doing homeschool. He has some friends here outside of the Internet but does not do well in social situations and prefers to be on the computer. So this is us. Any guidance, reassurance or just talking things out would be much appreciated, thanks.
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