Outed at work
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I have kept my children’s transition private from colleagues except for a few trustworthy individuals at my place of work. This all changed for us yesterday when I went to drop them off at their new school and discovered that there was a 2 hr late start due to ice and snow. Since I had a patient I needed to treat waiting for me, I had no choice but to takes the boys with me to work to wait out the 2 hrs there. Coworkers were excited to see the twins when I walked in with them but were confused when I used male pronouns and new names to reintroduce them. I was not emotionally prepared to encounter their curiosity and quickly fell into Mama Bear mode. I put the twins in a private area where they could safely wait, but the gossip flew around like wildfire and soon I had people poking their heads in to “say hello to the twins” and the looks and side conversations were evident. It felt like my kids were on exhibit and even after they had left the murmuring endured.
Why? Why must people be like that? I don’t think there was malicious intent but it was still hurtful. It also kept coming as people from other parts of the department would come by and say “ oh, I heard your kids were here today” from people that would normally not give a shit about what happens in clinic but had obviously heard the buz.
Which leads me to a selfish complaint. Sometimes I just want to be “off guard” and invisible and to not have to engage, defend or educate, particularly when I am feeling off balance. The there are other times that I feel empassioned about advocating and educating and I overflow with Queer pride .
No real question or message here. I just needed to share with “my people”. I am grateful For you all just being here and understanding.
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