The Magic of Halloween for Trans/Nonbinary Kids

Halloween has always meant a lot to my family. But, for my trans child, dressing up in costume was always the best part of the holiday.

Halloween was the time of year when it was completely acceptable to be whoever my child wanted. Before he had the words to tell his dad and I that he was a boy, Halloween gave him the freedom to be himself without fear of judgement. Halloween was always a chance for my child to safely explore his gender expression. He could be the solitary bounty hunter Boba Fett, or the sweet and friendly Thomas the Tank Engine. He could roar and create havoc like Godzilla or “beep boop” around the house as a robot. Sometimes, these characters would stay in our home for the entire month of October – even into November if the fabric lasted. His joy playing “dress up” was palpable and infectious – whenever we went to thrift stores, no matter the season, he was always searching for left-over costumes to add to his collection.

At the time, I thought Halloween was nothing more than a chance for my “tomboy” to role play. And it was — just not in the way I originally thought.

At Trans Families, I hear from parents all the time that Halloween holds a particularly special place for their trans and nonbinary kids. Halloween gives kids the freedom to be whatever they want, to try things on, and to test the reactions of those around them.

Of course, children don’t have to be gender diverse to find Halloween liberating and what costume a child chooses doesn’t necessarily indicate any deeper implications for their gender. But, more often than not, when the topic of Halloween comes up in our support groups, parents with trans/nonbinary kids say that Halloween offered their child a unique, liberated happiness.

Seeing that happiness can be especially helpful for parents who are new in this journey. It can be a chance for parents like me to relax (and maybe even worry less!) for a few moments as we watch our children thrive dressed exactly as they want. Sometimes, we hear from parents who worry that supporting their child’s gender exploration will influence them toward being gender nonconforming. If you are grappling with that, check out Support, Wait, or What? Finding Your Footing, a great resource on our website.

Again, not every child who loves Halloween is trans/nonbinary. After all, costumes are just clothes, and clothes are not gendered! But, if you are wondering if your child might be, check out our frequently asked questions. And, you can always reach out to us at info@transfamilies.org for more support, even if you aren’t sure if your child is trans/nonbinary. We’ve been where you are, and we’re here to help.

I hope that you and your family enjoy Halloween this year. And if you’re anything like me, I bet Halloween will always hold a special place in your heart. <3