TransFamilies Winter Holiday Guide

Holidays can be stressful for everyone, especially trans/nonbinary youth and their families. Here’s a preparation guide to make it all go as smoothly as possible.

PRE-HOLIDAY 

Decorations & Traditions

🌲 Now’s a great time to prepare! Especially if your child has changed their name or pronouns over the last year, we recommend thinking about your family’s holiday traditions…

➤ Does your child have an ornament with an outdated name?

➤ Are decorations like stockings color-coded by gender?

➤ Does your family have traditions separated by gender?

Now is a fantastic time to check in with your child and consider adjusting old items or making new memories by crafting brand new ones.

PS: if your child would rather get new momentos for the winter holidays, you don’t have to get rid of anything – you can keep old items tucked away safely in a box in the attic.

Managing Family Stress

Many parents have told us that they have found it helpful to talk with their child about stressful scenarios that may come up during time with extended family. 

➤ Does your brother-in-law like to bring up politics at the table?

➤ What happens if grandma calls your child by their old name?

➤ What about if your sister accidentally misgenders them?

We recommend talking through likely scenarios with your family to make a plan for what happens if family time turns stressful. 

For example, if your child’s aunt accidentally calls them by an old name, your child may want to correct her in the moment. Or, maybe your child would prefer that you gently remind her in private later. 

Your family can also work together to make a plan for decompressing. One parent in our community told us she and her child have a code word for “let’s talk a quiet walk together in the woods away from everyone else.” Another parent told us that she likes to give her kiddo a new fidget or other small toy to play with during big family gatherings.